Getting Bold*

I've been making some big changes.  In the last few months I've made several decisions:

• Single for a bit.
• Meet all the people.
• Follow up with people of interest.
• Enjoy all activities that present themselves and are of interest.
• Take all opportunities to grow and flourish with gusto.
• Work on closest relationships and give them deep priority.
• Kiss and play with my Moose dog as much as possible.
• Live and love wide open. 
• Ponder things thoughtfully and completely. 
• Make a decision.

All of this has left me the following benefits:

• Noticeable increase in peace and overall well-being.
• Consistent sleep.
• Increased fitness and nutrition focus as a default mode.
• A new set of friends and acquaintances. 
• Deeper, richer relationships with close friends and family.
• Open minded epic conversations that have challenged and adjusted my worldviews.
• A re-centering and awareness of my being. 
• Development of new interests and priorities. 
• Happiness as a state of being.
• A mindset with clarity and boldness. 

So what does this mean?  First of all, I am really happy.  I still have challenging moments, but I have a toolbox to climb over those obstacles and move back to peace and happy.  My toolbox has been escapism via work, obsession with career, manufactured obligations, inappropriate volunteer opportunities, clinging to routine and hamster wheels of chaos and conflict in my mind.  The new toolbox showcases meditation, tempered exercise and fitness output, lots of time with my dog, dancing, yoga, reading tons, talking with friends and dropping everything to do a craft when it hits me.  This is a much richer, colorful toolbox.  It's like we went from a box full of browns, grays and blacks to vibrant purple, fuscia, orange, and magenta with streaks of green and yellow.  It is a great development, but I needed a set of circumstances and paths to get here.  It wasn't a pleasant hike through the woods, but more akin to the grueling backpacking hell that can be Ozark hills in the summer.  Do I wish I had made some changes sooner?  In short, yes.  Do I think the path would have been better or right?  No.  Everything happened in the time it was supposed to.  The variety of teachers along the way (relationships, experiences, circumstances, people) all got me there in due time and got me to a place where my brain would be ready to change when I was ready to handle it.  

Where is all this heading? My geography profile is changing.  I love the lake and I've loved my epic hillside basecamp cabin.  It's time for dreams and rambling ideas to become reality.  I've found 10 acres of classic Arkansas bliss.  There is a spring fed pond, seasonal creek, woods, clearings, paths, roads, trails, trees and about 10 million squirrels (not sure on this last one, but I think I'm close).  All this within a reasonable distance to work, family, friends and my social hub.  So the original basecamp is going up for sale.  I'm going tiny home with limited grid contact for a while.  It may be a disaster, terrifying, challenging, etc., but you know what, I'm giving it a shot.  I'd put my bet on it being an adventure, challenging, educational, fun and overall positive.  I'll have my dog, family and friends to back me up and let me do laundry at their houses.  The cool part is I see the other side of the chasm, I've run back and I'm charging forward for a full leap across without really knowing if I can make it.  Even better is that I'm setting myself up to do it in a way that regardless of progress to the end game plan, I'll be debt free.  Ultimately, I love the freedom and comfort of this.  It allows me to flex and find a new path if needed or hang out and enjoy tiny home life if it happens to be glorious.  What is really neat is that I've never had the guts to do something like this.  Someone looked at me and said, "You are so brave in every other aspect of your life.  Why would you draw the line at being brave and going for your dream?"  Why indeed.  

Tiny home, big homestead.  Let's do this.  

*I wrote this in February, but chaos got the better of me and I didn't get it posted. Updates on the homestead will beforthcoming!