Finding Lost Things

At the risk of diving head first into the philosophical, it has occurred to me today that I had lost myself somewhere along the way in the last two years.  Not that I've become some monster or someone I don't want to be, but I have definitely deviated from some of my core values and intentions.  Two years ago I hiked the Boy Scout Trail at Petit Jean Mountain State Park and today I walked the same route, albeit in the opposite direction.  I won't say that the last hike was the paradigm shift, but in a sense it was the beginning of some changes and a long walk today helped me figure out what was missing.  I have become career focused/driven, seeking the exotic experiences, still loving someone that I have no right to give that much mental energy to, been wayward in my acquisition of material things, and focused on meeting and adapting to social norms.  None of these things are horrific or completely inappropriate or unusual, but it's not who I'm going to be anymore.  

I'm going to get openly excited about fungus, leaves, sunsets and bugs. 

I'm going to spend more time crouched on the ground photographing the aboved mentioned items.

I'm going to make being in nature a priority again.  (I had talked myself out of this hike today...red flag number 45....)

I'm going to be a rock star at work, but stop letting it impact my thought processes when I'm not there.

I'm going to be mature and classy when necessary, but not make that standard operating procedure.  It doesn't have to be either/or.  

I'm going to pry inward for advice before seeking outside counsel.  

I'm going to find a place to volunteer time and energy for something greater than myself.  

I'm going to be more disconnected.

Most importantly, I'm going to make sure there is more silence, less noise, less busy.  

This isn't a big confession or New Year Resolution.  I don't love sharing this degree of introspection, but I hope it may give someone pause.  I'm not advocating a 15 mile hike to crank your muscles and clear your head (regardless of how amazing it is!) but think about the last time you were quiet.  And I'm not talking about the 30 minute commute to work when you have a million thoughts running through your mind or in the shower where no phone calls or kiddos can invade (I'm sure this last instance happens), but true disconnectedness where you are alone with yourself.  Keeping your own company can be a terrifying prospect if it's been a while.  Putting down the phone and checking in with yourself instead of your Facebook might illuminate some things.  

Again, this isn't some diatribe on society and how we have gone off the rails, but more of a few realizations of how it's easy to slip, change and develop in directions you hadn't intended.  

Here's are some great views and finds from the trail to inspire to you to some sort of outdoor adventure!

Prime lunching location.

First fungus of the day!

This is true color of the runoff in this area.  I've always loved how dramatic it looks!

The single critter sighting that wasn't human or squirrel.  Great camoflauge eh?!

Tiny ferns taking over a fallen log.

Turkey tail fungus!  It's edible (and no I did not eat it).  

Looks like a topo map worn into the rock.  That really cranked my tractor!

A blessed wrong turn put me in this beautiful place.  I'll take the extra miles.  This image doesn't even cut it!

An attempt at a panaroma shot, but it still doesn't capture the ambiance of the space.  

If I had to pick a favorite fungus, THIS IS IT!  It's so bizarre and another blessing of the wrong turn.

Hand cut steps.  I love it when man's craftmanship blends well into the environment. 

This last statement sums it up nicely.  Make you sure YOU define the width or someone or something else will.